Big Fat Wedding - Hold the Italian
Weddings abound these days, and I am surfing the bridal wave with glee and drunkenness. Come to think of it, that's how I pretty much do everything. Hmm. Slightly disturbing, that. Yeah, so, anyway, this past weekend was my friend D's wedding to the infamous M, about whom we all heard so much the fall before last. If you'd have asked me then if these two were destined for the alter, I would have laughed in your face. Much to my surprise, though, here we find ourselves. Luckily, I have been proven wrong, and they fit better that I could have thought possible. I've never seen a couple so smitten with each other. Just goes to show what I know about relationships, eh? Sometimes I wonder why I'm single, and sometimes I have no doubt as to why. Ha!
The day of the wedding dawned just perfectly, sunny and warm. It was the perfect spring day to get married, and I was so happy for D. After a bunch of us girls gathered in the parking lot, we pounded some beers! No, just kidding, but the little grouping had a distinctly 'tailgaiting' feel to it. Maybe I'm just homesick for football season. Soooo, after pounding absolutely no beers, we proceeded to act like we were stone drunk once seated prettily in the church. Everyone else was quiet and properly reverant, and we were shrieking like a pack of hyenas. What can I say? We find each other funny and don't get to see one another nearly often enough. Conversation topics included: my boobs and God's reaction to them sticking out in church, the flat screen TV mounted at the back of the church near the ceiling, the possible purpose of the TV (we decided it beams God's message straight from heaven), M's glorious pregnancy and "supposed" husband, the narcoleptic organ player, that girl's dress which was totally fucking fabulous, he of the rapper name's very casual attire, and how nervous the groom looked. It was a rousing good time; the best time of the whole day, funnily enough. I know I go on ad nauseum, but I really love my friends, and it's hard to see them as little as I do. Moving on.
If the groom looked nervous, it was nothing to how D looked when she stepped out onto the aisle. We were stunned, because she's not normally a nervy person at all, but I guess a wedding can bring that out in you. Crazy C actually saw the preist look right at D and say, "Breathe." Luckily for bundle of nerves, the wedding was the quickest one ever put down in the history books. It was like bing, bang, boom, you're married. Surprisingly spicy kiss to seal the deal, and on to the reception!!
And, oh, we hit that place like a mother fucking hurricaine. Having already put down a couple of drinks at the hotel bar before our arrival, we were ready to get our reception on. Every one of us (except M, hahahaha, loser) arrowed straight for the bar. There was drinking and smoking of many ciggys and general merriness going on. Once again we proved to be the loud table, but I bet we also had the most fun. It was nice to see D so happy. I think that the role of wife will suit her right down to the ground. We actually got to hang out with her quite a bit more than I thought we would, which was awesome. After shots and before dancing, I also got to know M's new and actual husband, who seems to genuinely care about M and fit her really well. I have to admit my relief; it's not often a match made in heaven when you've only known your groom for three months before the wedding. Still, this one looks like it will turn out beautifully. We can only hope.
The drinking continued until we were all pretty much obliterated, and so, of course, we headed back to the hotel bar to drink some more. Here my memory gets a little (okay completely blacked out), um, fuzzy. Apparently K fell down and passed out early while I contented myself with passing out briefly at the bar. G says I did a slow swan dive towards the table and didn't move until her date roused me to go to my room. I felt kind of embarassed about this, considereing how little time I do get to spend with them, but G was telling me that everyone was pretty shitfaced; no worries. Nobody is real clear on what happened st the bar, so at least I didn't miss anything. You know, (oh so loyal) band of readers, how I hate to miss stuff.
I woke up the next day very hungover and slightly delirious from lack of sleep. I don't know what happened when I left Kwaj, but these nights in the States are killin' me! It's either the drop in humidity, or I'm getting old. I'm pushing for the environmental factor, at least until there is no doubt or alternative.
Have fun on your honeymoon, darling, we certainly had fun at your wedding.
